I’ve noticed that third-personification of one’s grievances is a critical feature of the anatomy of bitterness. When a person has chosen to take residence in near perpetual anger and bitterness the task of seeking validation and vindication for this bitterness is constant. There is no end to seeking illustration and argumentation to justify this cruel state. Even if the person has jettisoned belief in God all together, they simply can’t help but continue to appeal to some imagined court (or to anyone who cares to listen) to press their claim against their adversary. When you are that adversary it is very difficult indeed to not enter into this dynamic. The subpoenas keep mounting and you too wish to enter into that courtroom to justify yourself and be vindicated from the charges that are continually brought against you. Over time this can easily lead to a transfer of the bitterness, tempting you to also take up residence in that cruel bondage.

This morning I was listening to the hymn “The Love of God”. One stanza says this:

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

I found it very helpful to imagine that love applying to the one who has chosen to make me their adversary. To imagine that their bitterness does not poison God’s love, and compared to that love their paltry attempt at resistance cannot endure. I’ve been to the ocean. I know its power. I know its depth. I know its endurance. We are nothing before it. What this does is soften my heart against the one who has chosen to present their case against me and take hope from the power of God to endure the kind of bitterness and animosity brought against God’s son on that day when they mocked him on the cross. If God’s love has resources like this, then I can decide to resist bitterness again today and appeal to him to share this vast sea of love with me so that I too may live in his joy and not lodge in the cruel house of bitterness.