My dilemma is that I really like the person I’m dating, but I recently met someone else who interests me. I don’t want to break off a good relationship to go on a date with the new person, only to find that we don’t have much in common. Because I plan to be serially monogamous indefinitely, I need to figure this out now. How do I try out a new relationship while gently easing out of my old one, without crossing cheating boundaries and maligning my good name?
I sometimes read advice columns to get a sense of common consensus in the current culture. This one I think hits the main points. (the first questioner)
It has all the hallmarks:
1. Lifelong monogamy is a beautiful ideal but most often impractical or unachievable.
2. We are relational consumers, constantly shopping for the best deal.
3. relationships are contracts. The basis of morality in this contractual situation is “good faith”. The one rule is “don’t cheat” which means if you are binding the other to exclusivity you’d better practice this yourself.
4. The contract is on an “at will” basis. As soon as a better deal comes along (like your cell phone provider or cable provider) jump ship.
The last one is never stated but I think quietly assumed.
5. When it comes to the final chapter in your life hope you get someone who will care for you in the idealistic, traditional way rather than the way you’ve been treating everyone else.
Leadingchurch.com 