What happened afterward has been quite annoying. Men from all corners of the earth (read: young, Black men in America) have been blasting Kehlani and the rest of “these hoes” who don’t know how to handle or appreciate “a nice guy.” Not having the full story about the current status of the couple’s relationship, not knowing if Irving is indeed a “nice guy.” And what I find particularly irritating is that when male artists, entertainers and athletes cheat on their wives and girlfriends, there is no trending topic. Men don’t call these other men hoes. They don’t express their allegiance to the “good girl” who was hurt privately and publicly humiliated. Instead, men shrug their shoulders and offer explanations about biology, monogamy and access when you have money like these public figures. Hell, some of them might even celebrate the man for being “out here.”
The discussion about PartyNextDoor and his foul ways have yet to cross my path.
In this whole discussion of Kehlani, Ayesha Curry’s name was also trending. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but ever since homegirl talked about her preference for covering up, men have placed her on a pedestal, pointing to her as a beacon for Black womanhood. I happen to like Ayesha Curry but I really resent the fact that much of the discussion surrounding her in our community is about berating and belittling other women in comparison to her. Men have been tweeting all day that they’re looking for an “Ayesha Curry in a world full of Kehlanis.” As my coworker brought to my attention, someone literally tweeted that Ayesha Curry was the last good, light-skinned girl out here. As if any of these men, spending their waking hours on social media, could be Steph on their best day, or would even know what to do with an Ayesha type.
That’s because, he said, Curry is “widely thought of as the ideal woman to be in a relationship with in a world where there are so few prominent examples of famous women who are just that.”
Early Wednesday, the Ayesha Curry celebrations continued: “@ayeshacurry Ur devoutly Christian example is 1 2 follow! Ur style, classy attitude & joy @being a wife &mother is 2 be admired!”
Or: “Every n—- wants @ayeshacurry”
Women fired back, notably with tweets like this, from @Rejiaku: “A lot of these boys want a Ayesha Curry but none of them even come close to being a Steph Curry; so kindly take a seat please.”
Despite the call-out of misogyny in these social media reputation wars, it’s not likely that these beefs are going to die down anytime soon.
Unfortunately.
With the cooking show’s announcement, a new round of memes and jokes cropped up Thursday night and Friday morning, some showing photos of her in the kitchen, with captions presenting her as saying sexually suggestive things or as voicing views that are condescending to other women.
“Ayesha Curry is currently being roasted via twitter,” posted
@faithfulblack man Friday morning. “Twitter has given Ayesha Curry a persona she didn’t really ask for and so many feeding in to it,” wrote users.
@Tommyguns asked “Why black women hate Ayesha curry? All she does is be faithful in a relationship….oh I see why y’all mad.”
To which, another user called her “a patriarchy princess” and @DarkSkinnBeauty replied: “It’s not that Ayesha Curry is hated, she’s just the stereotype of ‘what a woman should be’ mold we’re trying to break.”
Mental Health and CS Lewis Chronological Snobbery
Yesterday I found a really cool piece in Slate Star Codex on mental illness.
Among the many pleasures of that piece were some fascinating observations about mental illness prior to urbanization.
This confirms a lot of my experience as a pastor of a church on a corner with a lot of group homes. It confirms some of what I saw growing up near “Dutch Hill” in Paterson/Prospect Park. Community care is often the best care. The whole person is cared for.
It is also interesting looking at rates of psychosis.
Mental Illness isn’t just a disease that hits a certain element of the population. Community factors matter.
CS Lewis Chronological Snobbery
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